This or That
No thinking. First instinct only. Go fast enough and people answer honestly.
Tap to choose which categories to play with
1 of 6 categories on
Coffee or tea?
1 of 10 this round · press space for the next one
How to play
- 1Read the pair out fast. The speed is the point.
- 2Everyone answers instantly, no deliberating.
- 3Anyone who hesitates for more than two seconds is out.
What's in the deck
Questions for every kind of gathering, sorted into 6 categories. Have a look at each one.
Classic
Works with any group
- Coffee or tea?
- Beach or mountains?
- Early bird or night owl?
- Sweet or savoury?
…and plenty more in the game above.
Why this one works
This or That is the fastest icebreaker on this site. A full round takes about ninety seconds. The rapid-fire format is doing something specific: when people have to answer in under two seconds they give you their actual preference rather than the answer they've decided makes them look good.
It's the format that works best on camera, which is why it's everywhere on short-form video. One person reads, one person answers, and the interesting moments are the hesitations. The pairs where someone visibly has to think are the ones worth talking about afterwards.
For a group, run through fifteen pairs quickly and then go back to the two or three where the room genuinely split. Those are the real conversations, and you've found them in under two minutes.
The trick to playing it well
The mistake: letting people explain. "Well, it depends what kind of coffee." The moment somebody starts qualifying, the round has become a slower, worse Would You Rather, and everybody else relaxes into weighing up their own answers too. The two-second rule exists to stop exactly that. Nobody explains anything until the round is over, and anybody who tries has hesitated.
The house rule worth adopting: both and neither count as hesitating. They are the two ways to dodge a pair without technically pausing, and in a group that has not ruled them out they become the most common answers in the game. Say so before the first card. It sounds harsh, and it is the rule that makes everything else work, because a pair only tells you anything when somebody has to give up the side they also wanted.
The reader is the clock. The pace comes from whoever holds the phone, not from the players. Read the next pair the moment the last answer lands, with no pause for a laugh or a comment on what somebody chose, and the room stays on instinct. On a laptop the space bar deals the next pair, so the reader can watch faces rather than the screen, which is where the hesitations are. Ten a round is the default across every question deck on this site, which suits the slower ones. At this speed, set it to 20, or the round is over before anybody has warmed up.
Go back with the arrow, not from memory. Returning to the pairs that split the room is the best conversation this game produces, and nobody can ever remember which pairs they were. On the last card of the round, before you tap Finish round, the back arrow under the card walks back through the round one pair at a time, and forward again. Once the round is finished the way back is gone, because a new round starts with a clean history.
Same pairs as the Instagram templates, opposite game. A This or That template is a profile: you fill it in alone, take as long as you like over each pair, and post it once you are happy with how it makes you look. Played out loud it is a race, and the race is the part a template cannot do, because nobody filling one in has ever been caught hesitating.
Common questions
- How do you play This or That?
- Read out two options and everyone answers immediately with their first instinct. Speed matters: anyone taking longer than about two seconds is out.
- What's a good This or That for an icebreaker?
- Start with the Classic or Food categories. They're low-stakes enough that nobody feels exposed, which is exactly what you want in the first few minutes with a new group.
- Can I use these for a video or a story poll?
- Yes, the format is built for it. The Classic and Food sets work best for polls because opinions genuinely split down the middle.
- How is it different from Would You Rather?
- This or That is about instant preference and speed. Would You Rather is about dilemmas you have to defend. Play This or That to warm up, then move to Would You Rather when people are talking.
- Is there a timer?
- No, the room keeps the two seconds. That works better than a countdown would, because everybody is watching each other's faces rather than a clock, and a hesitation is something you see long before a timer could measure it. If your group argues about who was slow, make the reader the only judge and let them sit out answering.
- What is the Deep category?
- Pairs like love or money, truth or peace and freedom or security, asked at the same speed as coffee or tea. That speed is the point: at two seconds a pair, nobody has time to work out which answer sounds wise. Play a round of something lighter first, so the room has the rhythm before the pairs get heavier. It is the nearest this game gets to a real conversation.
- How do couples play This or That?
- Answer at the same time on a count of three and keep track of how many you match in a round. Then try the harder version: one of you calls out what the other will pick before they answer. Matching is pleasant, but the second version is where you find out what your partner thinks your answers are, and How Well Do You Know Me turns that into a scored game of its own.
- Is This or That good for young children?
- It is one of the easiest games on the site for them, because there is nothing to read and nothing to work out, only a choice. The Family category is pairs like sweets or chocolate, park or playground, swimming or the trampoline. Drop the two-second rule for the youngest players, who tend to take being out for hesitating as a personal insult.